so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
