Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
