bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
