I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
