i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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