my mouth tastes like poor choices
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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