seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
