i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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