you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
