so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
