we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
