i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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