i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
