I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
