So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
