Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
