Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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