the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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