8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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