I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
