well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
