I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
