My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
