dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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