Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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