Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
