What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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