Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
