do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
