And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
