that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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