i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
