This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
