I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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