I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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