Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
