There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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