Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
