margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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