Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
