I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
