We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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