also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize