Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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