Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
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I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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