her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
