Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize