How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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