Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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