Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
