Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I pour the whiskey from now on
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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