My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
