i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?