I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.