I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies