yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later