Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore