Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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