There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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