what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
