Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
