If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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