Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
