i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
