Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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