And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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